Three Little Miracles: October 2009

This is a story I wrote to the girls about the day they were born

It might be a bit much but when they are old enough I think they would like to know how their story began

01/29/09

The day you were born. At noon I started to have contractions. I called the doctor and they told me to come in to see them. Your dad was outside in his car getting ready to leave to drop some stuff off at the good will. I hurried out to him and told him I was having contractions and need to go to the doctor. I quickly got dressed and we headed out. We didn’t have enough gas in the car to make to the doctors so we had to stop and get gas. I started counting my contractions and they were 3-5 minutes apart. I thought for sure I was doing it wrong. There was no way I could be in labor. I called your aunt Jenny and both your grandparents. We made it to the doctor’s office about 30 minutes later and they got me into a room very quickly and checked me. And sure enough I was right I was contracting every 3-5 minutes. I was then sent over to the labor and delivery at the hospital. Thank goodness they were right next door. With in 5 – 10 minutes I was contracting every 1-2 minutes. They got me in a room and got me hooked up to monitors and which seemed to take forever. They started to give me meds to stop the labor. Grandma and Grandpa Roberts arrived and were hanging out in the room with me. After a short while the doc checked me and Chloe’s water was bulging and about to break. So they stopped the medicine to keep me from having you. Because you decided you guys were coming no matter what. They started me on Pitocin to get the labor going. You were both head down. So they were going to let me deliever you naturally. I was 4 cm dilated. Dad asked if they would have time to get something to eat. And the nurse said he would have plenty of time because this usually takes a while. So he and your grandpa went to the cafeteria. Shortly after your dad and grandpa left Chloe’s water broke and I had to have the nurse and doc come to make sure. A few minutes after her water broke I started to hemorrhage. Every one was rushing around making sure that you both were ok and I was ok. Grandma and I started calling your dad’s and grandpa’s cell phone to get them up there. It seem to take forever but we finally got thru to them. Your dad hurried to the room and walked in when it was becoming chaotic. They decided every thing was ok and the doc went a head and broke Casey’s water. A few seconds after that I started to hemorrhage again. They got the nurse to the room so that he could give me an epidural. He had me sit up and he thought he got in. He had me lay down and the epidural slipped out. When that happed my IV’s also popped out. He had me sit up to so he could put another one in. When they sat me up I told them I didn’t feel so good. I was starting to loose conciseness. I don’t remember much else. But your dad said there were about 15 people in the room rushing around. I do know that they were trying to put an IV in my feet for hands as quickly as possible. I didn’t feel anything at this point. Several times there was a doctor or a nurse in my face almost yelling “STAY WITH ME HEATHER” I was having trouble staying awake. Then I saw your dad’s face. And I have never been so scared. He is always so laid back and not much shakes him. He looked terrified! This made me think we were going to die. The next thing I know is that I was being rolled out of the room into the OR. I looked at your dad and asked him if were could trade spots. I was so scared. I didn’t want to loose either of you and I didn’t want to die. I really thought I would not live long enough to see you two. They delivered Chloe first. She was taken out of the room before your dad could take a picture. You didn’t make a sound. I knew that wasn’t good. Then the delivered Casey you gave out a huge cry. This made me feel a little better. I told your dad to leave me and go be with you girls. Nothing was more important than making sure you both were alive and ok. After they stitched me up the sent me to a recovery room for 3 hours. Then they took me to see you both. Sadly I don’t remember any of that. The next day I went to visit you for just a couple of hours because I was so overwhelmed with what I saw. You both had tubes coming out all over you. And you were hooked up to a cpap machine to keep you breathing. I was not able to touch either of you because you could not handle the stimulation you would stop breathing. After 2 days we could touch you lightly and soon after that we were able to change your diapers. We had to kind of roll you to the side to put the diaper on because in weird movements and you would go into respiratory arrest. As soon as the nurse and doc felt you were stable enough we could kangaroo with you. I would have you lay on my chest so we were skin to skin contact. It was the best feeling in the world. At times more than I like to think about you both would get used to the sound of my heart and you would think you were back inside me and you would stop breathing. I would then have to rub your back kind of firm to get you breathing again. It was a very difficult beginning but you two are so strong and are getting so big. After 54 days in the NICU the girls were released to come home. It was the most exciting and the scariest time of my life. What if they stop breathing while they sleep and I don't notice? What if the continue to eat only 1 ounce every 3 hours. What if I don't hold their head in the correct postion and their airway gets cut off. These are some of my worries 24/7. Having a premie comes with a lot of doctors appointments and specialist appointments and a lot of worry. Will the catch up? Are they developmently to far behind? When will the catch up to their peers. I have tried to be a bit more relaxed now that they are 8 ½ months Chloe is 14lbs and Casey is 12 ½ lbs. I am so blessed to have 2 healthy baby girls.